Hello there, good Doctor. My name is Leon,
Emitted last night by an atom of neon.
Because I am light, I’ve got reason to rave,
For I can exist as both particle and wave.
Before, I was dating a pretty blue photon,
But we weren’t on the same wavelength, and so I rode on
At three hundred million meters per second,
A much faster speed than you ever could reckon.
Whenever my friends ask me, “Leon, what’s nu ?”
I say, “Five times ten to the fourteenth hertz … and you?”
But I envy the violets, the UV, the blue,
’Cause they have more energy, more than I do.
But I’ll get to the point, Doc, ’cause you’re in a rush.
My problem is simple: I’ve got a huge crush
On an atom whose life I could make a lot brighter
If only she’d let in my light to excite her!
Her name is hydrogen—the simplest of matter.
If I try her, at best, I Rayleigh scatter.
What’s that you say … it’s useless to panic?
It all has to do with … quantum mechanics ?
Her energy values, you say, are quantized,
Like rungs with spacings specifically sized,
And only those photons whose “E’s” match a spacing
Can get her electronic heart to start racing?
So if I were red, or violet, or cyan,
Then I could get her electron to buy in.
But pitiful me, my color is yellow.
I guess I can never be named as her fellow.
And even those colors would pleasure her not,
Unless she already was awfully hot.
At three hundred Kelvin she’s in her ground state,
And only UV light can make her upgrade.
I hate “Quantum M!” It limits my hopes
To a handful of mates and some isotopes.
Now what’s that you say? It’s really quite cool,
An analytically useful tool?
As each type of atom has unique spaces,
You shoot it with light, see which nu’s it erases.
So all atom types have their own special spectrums.*
Whenever they’re present, you know to expect ’em.
So look at the light from a distant star,
And you know what atoms it has from afar!
Wow—I guess that my case has been lost;
The benefits clearly outweigh all the costs.
I’ll stay yellow and mellow, blue and teary,
Green with envy, sighin’ and weary.
Good-bye, my Doc. I think we agree on
The fact that my “E” is still perfect for neon.
For all of you humans out there, think twice
Before you complain that your prospects aren’t nice;
Although it seems challenging, finding your mate,
At least you don’t need physics to resonate!
*The proper term is “spectra” and not “spectrums.”
For reference, here is an image of a hydrogen atom absorption spectrum (Chem 301, U. Texas).
(This poem previously appeared in India Abroad, Oct. 25, 2005, p. M9, was performed for a 2004 episode of the poetry video series P.L.A.C.E.S., produced by Philips Hasouris and james g.h. moore, and appeared in Chemistry for the Couch Potato, 2003, printed by Friends of Poetry).
